On Doubt

No Doubt

I couldn’t find any doubt in me.
Perhaps it’s my age.
Perhaps it’s just the nature of the valley I’m currently in.
Perhaps it’s just the stage of spiritual growth I am in.

But there was no doubt around my heart.
Where I would most expect it to be.
For the first time in my life,
I feel as though the path for my emotions is clear.
Absolutely clear.
And happy.
A most unusual state for my heart.

And my thoughts were in no way
twisting around on each other,
tripping over the others,
trying desperately to find understanding,

Which is odd
because I thought that I was lost,
This turn-curses-into-blessings thing—
I thought I was confused about that.
But while I can find it challenging,
apparently I don’t find it confusing.

I am not confused.

I am not confused about what my next action will be.
Or the next.
Or even the one after that.

In a way, I feel like Julie Andrews looks—
arms out wide on the top of a flowered mountain top,
singing her heart out.

I even thought about finding
a way to setup online courses
for a seminary-like thing.
A seminary that teaches things like angels
and how to pray.

There’s so much to do.
So many things to think about.
To organize.

My world is continually sorting itself out;
presenting its underlying design to me.

I couldn’t find one doubt
in the entire prayer.

Which does, I will admit,
make me wonder.

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