To Fast

Cleaning The Gutters

Again—again after the last writing I did—what I saw in my prayer while focusing on the concept of “fast,” was parts.

Parts of me that lie alongside each other, and between them are gutters.  The gutters collect the runoff from the individual parts.

And, for me, to fast means to keep those gutters clean.  To keep the parts whole and on their own.  Maintaining the integrity of the parts so that the whole functions in a preferred manner.  A good way?

When I thought about food—around which the concept of “fast” is mostly focused, I saw the meal all divided—all separate.  No flowing of one into the next.

Which is not something I do anyway.  Mostly I have trouble with just sitting down to eat.  Not eating continually.

Nevertheless I saw what “fast” meant in terms of food.

I suppose it could apply this idea to prayer, too.  Keeping times of prayer nice and separate.  Which is something I don’t do some days.  

When I do, though, it feels really, really good.  Like sitting down on a beautiful beach and watching the ocean for a while.

Instead of making them periods of obligation that I have to get through.  An assigned task.

Not the grace of time with God.

But there are other areas in life where I need to keep the various parts separate and clean around the edges.

  • The websites
  • The reading
  • The disciplines

Allowing myself to not live as one, big, long blur.  Where even the different parts have to be kept separate.

Clean breaks between things.

Is that a good way to say it?

Perhaps it’s about keeping things separate in my brain. 

If that’s possible.

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