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Praying for the Dead What I mean by “the dead” are those people on Earth who have lived in such a deep pit of darkness for so long that it has become their home.   My question is, How do we pray for those who have lost their ability to know the truth about life?  That there is a sun.  Deep green forests.  Other people who have never lived in the deep.  I am trained to my bones to know that there is only one unforgivable...

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Breathing Space As I get older I appreciate more and more how orderly I am in my thoughts.  How I have carved events of my life out of its stream and did my best to put them where they belonged.   Somethings are best kept in chronological order, yes, but others have such a striking identity that they belong to other blocks with the same identity. Yes, I’m weird. But that’s the whole point of my life.  The extent to which I...

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There is something magical about being somewhere for a period of time.  A long enough period of time to be able to know things about where you are. I once had a job in my biology teacher’s lab.  I measured seaweed.  A certain kind of seaweed. He was studying the effect on its growth by the warm waters being evacuated from the nuclear power plant on the coast. And as the summer drew along, with only the company of the classical...

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I don’t know why such a simple thing like feeding the birds should make me feel so out-of-step with the rest of the world. It’s something I often feel. But bird feeding? It’s that our world has become obsessed with being special, I think. Special houses. Special cars. Special jobs. Special children. Nothing ordinary is tolerated any more.  Everyone has a specialty.  Or is supposed to. Everyone excels. It’s no...

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It has been many years that I have lived here. I came to live here in a most round-about way, and in spite of desperately wanting to leave for most of those years, here is where I have lived. Children have grown up.  Left.  Come back.  Left again. Usually leaving a cat or two.  Once even three. I live on the ground floor.  Except for the laundry room, the entire floor is mine alone. I read here. I eat here. I sleep here. I write here....

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The Mystery of Nothing In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. Creation.  The next concept after time is creation.  We are here at the beginning, and now creation begins. We tend to associate the concept of creation with the physical realm.  We create things. The first few verses of the Bible make it clear that these words describe that what was being created was the physical world. Before this point in time (and we can...

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A Time to be Born In the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth. There are two parts to this sentence, each with its own list of confounding, even overwhelming, questions.  So I begin with the first part: In The Beginning. In the beginning—there it is: Time. How did Time get here? Where did it come from? Was it the first thing God created? Even the concept “first” reinforces the idea that Time exists. Did Time just...

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My Own Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. Blessed silence. Blessed solitude. That wraps around her like an old family heirloom quilt. Something that matters. Something that is real. The separateness is real, too. As real as the sun. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Moon...

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A Maze of Mirrors It’s almost effortless today to see what my limitation is. (There’s a joke in there somewhere.) It’s the fact that I cannot see. At least not in the real world. In the unreal world, I’m an absolute wonder. But here, with my feet sticking to Mother Earth, zip.  Nada. A big, fat zero. I think it was the way that I was brought up. To be always standing outside the ring of people before me.  I...

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Right to the End My oft repeated transgression against God can be summed up very efficiently by one word: intransigence. It means unwilling to change my view. Absolutely unwilling. There have been three significant times in my life when I resolved to be the one who was right in the face of God. The first was when I was seventeen.  Having been told to, Come and do your work, I resolved, instead, to just slip out the spiritual back door...

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Everflow I walk on a trail through the woods behind where I live as often as I can.   As often as my body allows. And it is a truly wonderful thing. Because it makes my body stronger. And I’m out in the fresh air, which cheers me immensely. And I feel muscles in me working: muscles that haven’t really worked for a long, long time. I walk over a number of little wooden bridges that lift me a bit over whatever small stream...

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God is light. God is good. God is righteous. Can we really assign any adjective we want to to God? How can God be good if God created goodness in the first place? How can God be righteous if God is the very concept of righteousness? Isn’t this like writing, This tree is treeness? Well, yes it is, as a matter of fact.  But trees are treeness. But do we really need to say so? Ever? What is our need to heap adjectives on God, the...

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Smashing through our soul’s walls The process of spiritual growth is a process of growing out of the size and shape our souls are currently in. Invariably there is in a soul fears that are fed by ancient streams, the water in which comes from memories long forgotten. There are also beliefs that we know are wrong, but still hold fast to our bank of truths.  While outwardly we may conform to the “right” of things,...

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(by Diane Wolverton) I want to adore your body just as it is. I want to adore every scar, every fold and crevice. I want to know every hair, where all your moles are, every corn on your foot, and especially the places that make you insecure so I can adore them most of all. I want to notice every part of you, like the undulating ocean of your eyes and love especially the right one when it gets tired and a little bit red. I want to know...

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The trinity of me As I get older I see, more and more, that who I am today—who I have been every day of my life—was set absolutely as a child. Perhaps this is true of everyone.  Or perhaps some people slip through their childhood and develop their character as an adult.  Or keep recreating their character throughout their life. But this isn’t true for me. And in spite of the truth that I had always viewed myself as having two...

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When the Lord shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion, and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof by the spirit of judgment, and by the spirit of burning. (Isaiah 4:4) Vanity and cruelty.  Filth and blood. The power to wash.  The strength to burn. It is God’s responsibility to cleanse and purify our world after we have defiled it. Like children who have been left at home alone, and get...

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For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the Earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Yours and Mine It is an interesting world when you live, as I do, as a mystic. It goes along, with a semblance of normalcy, and then there is the inevitable wall. Which brings with it a drenching shower of confusion. I put into...

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Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. Returning to childhood Giving thanks for everyone in the name of Jesus. It sounds like the lesson God, the Father, gave me as a young child, and one that lasted until I graduated from high school.  If not longer. You see this, Julia, it is all God.  It is all me. It was like being given a chance to work on the largest jigsaw puzzle in...

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The Bridge Between God and Man We forget to look up. Not that God is physically above us. Or below us. God is. Every molecule is God. And we forget this. Or don’t understand how to know this. We just keep walking on. Eyes straight ahead. Not seeing. Not letting the miraculous healing of a loved one touch our heart. Not letting the rain soothe our shredded nerves. Not letting a friend’s word sink into our heart. No reaching...

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Mothering Nature I was shown something the other day.  In one way I had the feeling that I knew this already.  But in another way, it shocked me. I mulled it over for an entire day.  And still land on it at times. The Earth as a rational, sentient wholeness that can not only live in harmony with Man, but can understand his needs and respond to them. I spent my childhood sitting in fields of long grass and walking miles through the...

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I feel as though I have been being built all my life. At first, clearly, it was God doing the building. But as his absolute nature of being the Builder diminished and I was left, more and more to participate in the process, I became, understandably, increasingly doubtful of who I am. Sometimes what I was working on mystically would come crashing down so hard that I thought I was at the very beginning of my flight into the world,...

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The Faithfulness of God I will be the same until your old age, and I will bear you up when you turn gray.  I have made you, and I will carry you; I will bear and reassure you. (Isaiah 46:4) Life is long and hard.  Especially when you are aligned with God. For Jesus, his “life” was only about three years long.  The life of his ministry.  The life of his walking God into the world. There were no gray hairs on his head the...

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1 Last night the geese came back, slanting fast from the blossom of the rising moon down to the black pond. A muskrat swimming in the twilight saw them and hurried to the secret lodges to tell everyone spring had come. And so it had. By morning when I went out the last of the ice had disappeared, blackbirds sang on the shores. Every year the geese, returning, do this, I don’t know how. 2 The curtains opened and there was an old man in...

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And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. (2 Corinthians 12:9a) I always thought that were I ever to encounter romantic love—in myself for another, in another for me—even if it meant turning my back on God and all his being, I would choose love. Love over God. I am spiritually gifted.  Magnificently so. And I live on Earth. Where other’s rejection of me because of this...

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The Smallest Creatures And Their Mess I feel like my whole life has been defined by bugs. I suppose I should feel like it has been defined by God. But I don’t. It’s the bugs. They are always there. Even when you don’t want them to be. But, then, why would I ever want them to be there? I grew up on the coast of Maine, a state where its greatest boast is that in the long, long winters THERE ARE NO BUGS. No bugs when I...

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